Monthly Archives: June 2015

Jun 12

Shaking Trees

By Joy Perugini | Self-Care

e5fb724b-0abc-4499-a819-17cda21dc82fSome people? Are just not nice. They pretend to be nice of course, as long as you keep them happy, but the moment you do something to “wrong” them in their eyes (even if YOU feel that it’s fair and best for everyone involved), they turn on you like a rabid dog.

Not everyone is your friend. Not everyone will resonate with what you do, how you do it, and what your message is to the world. And that? Is. Okay.

When you choose to do something to honor yourself, to stand in your power and truly do what you KNOW is right for YOU regardless of how others might judge, or even upset, something magical happens. You cease to give two shits, and this is powerful stuff.

When you make up your mind to really live life to its fullest, to wake up, grab it by the horns and finally take control of your own destiny? Surprisingly enough, not EVERYONE is going to be happy about it.

Change. Is. Hard.

Or at least it can be, for some, and it can certainly be scary for just about all of us.

So what’s a girl (or guy, for that matter) to do? Fuck ‘em. Fuck ‘em all. Trust me, you’ll figure out who your real friends are real quick ;) You’ll also figure out who was only along for the ride while they were getting what they wanted from you. And once again? It’s okay.  You will be okay.

If you take nothing more away from these ramblings, please take away this …

Trust in your heart.

Follow your gut.

And think with your head.

KNOW that the right people will still be standing by your side when the dust settles. And those people? Are the ONLY ones that matter. Sometimes we just have to shake the tree of life up a little and let the dead leaves fall off, so the new buds have room to grow.

A good friend … actually one of the BEST friends a girl could ask for … said something very profound to me last week. Something I would certainly say to a friend, or even a client, myself. But of course when it comes to taking our own advice, often things get lost in translation (let’s be honest here, I pretty much SUCK at taking my own advice in these types of situations).

“You don’t need negative people to follow you. The right people will be there and the rest are not meant to be!”

So simple, yet oh so powerful.

And there it is. Why do we care so much about what other people think? I mean, is it just me?! I know men certainly seem to have thicker skin than us girls when it comes to this kind of stuff, but really … I’m not alone in this, right?! I was told that when I turned forty I wouldn’t care anymore … and I guess it’s partly true (I certainly care a lot less about what others think … and seriously, who are THEY to judge?), but I DO care what the people close to me think. The people I consider friends and confidants.  Oh, but there it is again … that word: Friend.

Not everyone will be your friend. Or even your fan.

No matter how nice you are.

No matter how much you give of yourself.

No matter how good of a person you are

No matter how hard you work.

No matter WHAT you do.

Some people simply don’t ride the same waves as you.

Not necessarily waves like the ones we surf (but actually, I guess those too), but waves like as in frequency.

We each have a vibrational frequency that we tune into (think of them as radio waves, if that helps).  Given the day, hour, or quite possibly the minute or even second, we’re tuned in on some channel.

Is it a positive one?

Is it one that honors your spirit?

Your path?

Probably not always, right? But hopefully most of the time? I mean it happens to the best of us … we can all get down … we can all let life’s beat down knock us on our ass sometimes, but some people get stuck there.

In fact, some people get SO stuck that they can’t see any light at all, and (in all honesty) they can only help themselves. They have to WANT to get out of the darkness, and if they don’t want out, you best believe they DO want some company! Misery loooooves company, right?! So they’re going to do their damnedest to take you down in the muck with them.

Just. Stay. AWAY.

I know it’s hard. I know that most of us want to help. We want to share our light … spread it out to help heal others, especially those that we care about. But you also need to take care of YOU first and foremost. You need to protect yourself from negative energy, and stay on a higher vibrational path.

If you feel like you’re dragging someone uphill on your back, trying to pull them out of their misery, it’s time to create some space between you. In time, they will find their way back to a lighter, brighter place, and if they don’t? Not. Your. Problem.

Just . Let. Go.

A fabulous quote shared with me by the love of my life when I needed to hear it most (thanks, babe) … perhaps you need to hear it too …

“Stop letting people who do so little for you, control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions.”

What do you truly deep down inside want your life to be about?

Let’s get out there and shake some trees, and just let the dead leaves fall where they may. Some people only come into our lives for a season, but ALWAYS for a reason. If you feel a given relationship no longer serves you … if you’re always the one giving, but not receiving … then it’s likely time to move on.

Go spend your precious time on this planet with the people who light you up, make you feel alive, and ADD to your life, not take away.

You deserve to love and be loved by all of the people in your life. Know this. Own this.  And choose your “friends” wisely ;)