Category Archives for "Self-Care"

Jun 12

Shaking Trees

By Joy Perugini | Self-Care

e5fb724b-0abc-4499-a819-17cda21dc82fSome people? Are just not nice. They pretend to be nice of course, as long as you keep them happy, but the moment you do something to “wrong” them in their eyes (even if YOU feel that it’s fair and best for everyone involved), they turn on you like a rabid dog.

Not everyone is your friend. Not everyone will resonate with what you do, how you do it, and what your message is to the world. And that? Is. Okay.

When you choose to do something to honor yourself, to stand in your power and truly do what you KNOW is right for YOU regardless of how others might judge, or even upset, something magical happens. You cease to give two shits, and this is powerful stuff.

When you make up your mind to really live life to its fullest, to wake up, grab it by the horns and finally take control of your own destiny? Surprisingly enough, not EVERYONE is going to be happy about it.

Change. Is. Hard.

Or at least it can be, for some, and it can certainly be scary for just about all of us.

So what’s a girl (or guy, for that matter) to do? Fuck ‘em. Fuck ‘em all. Trust me, you’ll figure out who your real friends are real quick ;) You’ll also figure out who was only along for the ride while they were getting what they wanted from you. And once again? It’s okay.  You will be okay.

If you take nothing more away from these ramblings, please take away this …

Trust in your heart.

Follow your gut.

And think with your head.

KNOW that the right people will still be standing by your side when the dust settles. And those people? Are the ONLY ones that matter. Sometimes we just have to shake the tree of life up a little and let the dead leaves fall off, so the new buds have room to grow.

A good friend … actually one of the BEST friends a girl could ask for … said something very profound to me last week. Something I would certainly say to a friend, or even a client, myself. But of course when it comes to taking our own advice, often things get lost in translation (let’s be honest here, I pretty much SUCK at taking my own advice in these types of situations).

“You don’t need negative people to follow you. The right people will be there and the rest are not meant to be!”

So simple, yet oh so powerful.

And there it is. Why do we care so much about what other people think? I mean, is it just me?! I know men certainly seem to have thicker skin than us girls when it comes to this kind of stuff, but really … I’m not alone in this, right?! I was told that when I turned forty I wouldn’t care anymore … and I guess it’s partly true (I certainly care a lot less about what others think … and seriously, who are THEY to judge?), but I DO care what the people close to me think. The people I consider friends and confidants.  Oh, but there it is again … that word: Friend.

Not everyone will be your friend. Or even your fan.

No matter how nice you are.

No matter how much you give of yourself.

No matter how good of a person you are

No matter how hard you work.

No matter WHAT you do.

Some people simply don’t ride the same waves as you.

Not necessarily waves like the ones we surf (but actually, I guess those too), but waves like as in frequency.

We each have a vibrational frequency that we tune into (think of them as radio waves, if that helps).  Given the day, hour, or quite possibly the minute or even second, we’re tuned in on some channel.

Is it a positive one?

Is it one that honors your spirit?

Your path?

Probably not always, right? But hopefully most of the time? I mean it happens to the best of us … we can all get down … we can all let life’s beat down knock us on our ass sometimes, but some people get stuck there.

In fact, some people get SO stuck that they can’t see any light at all, and (in all honesty) they can only help themselves. They have to WANT to get out of the darkness, and if they don’t want out, you best believe they DO want some company! Misery loooooves company, right?! So they’re going to do their damnedest to take you down in the muck with them.

Just. Stay. AWAY.

I know it’s hard. I know that most of us want to help. We want to share our light … spread it out to help heal others, especially those that we care about. But you also need to take care of YOU first and foremost. You need to protect yourself from negative energy, and stay on a higher vibrational path.

If you feel like you’re dragging someone uphill on your back, trying to pull them out of their misery, it’s time to create some space between you. In time, they will find their way back to a lighter, brighter place, and if they don’t? Not. Your. Problem.

Just . Let. Go.

A fabulous quote shared with me by the love of my life when I needed to hear it most (thanks, babe) … perhaps you need to hear it too …

“Stop letting people who do so little for you, control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions.”

What do you truly deep down inside want your life to be about?

Let’s get out there and shake some trees, and just let the dead leaves fall where they may. Some people only come into our lives for a season, but ALWAYS for a reason. If you feel a given relationship no longer serves you … if you’re always the one giving, but not receiving … then it’s likely time to move on.

Go spend your precious time on this planet with the people who light you up, make you feel alive, and ADD to your life, not take away.

You deserve to love and be loved by all of the people in your life. Know this. Own this.  And choose your “friends” wisely ;)

Apr 27

The 5 Things I Learned from Dropping Everything and Leaving the Country on a Whim

By Joy Perugini | Self-Care

So, I did something kinda out of character a little over a week ago. Okay. REALLY out of character. This over-planned, over-organized, and overall “Type A” over-achiever decided to drop everything in her life (including the responsibilities of running TWO companies) and jumped on a plane to paradise. Why?

Because I could.

But wait a minute here … I didn’t THINK I could!

I was scared to death to spend the money (honestly, money that I didn’t have to spend frivolously). I was scared to death to leave my businesses (both at a crucial time in their growth), and I was fucking scared to death of what I’d come back to after being “out of the office” for a full nine days.

But I did it. And I’d do it again. In fact, I might just do it sooner rather than later. Here are five reasons why I have no regrets, and I’d do it all again in a heartbeat:

#1. Life goes on without me. You might be the most important cog in the wheel of the company you work for, or the family you support every day, but the truth is NO ONE is irreplaceable. No. One.

Everyone will make do without you, and step up to the plate when necessary if they really want shit handled. If not, it’ll just be waiting for you when you get back … no biggie. I was thoroughly shocked to find only four (yes FOUR) important emails waiting for me in my inboxes when I got back. There were hundreds of literal junk messages to weed through, but only FOUR were from clients or team members that needed my attention right away. Life. Went. On.

#2. There’s so much more to learn. I hadn’t been out of the country in twenty years, or even off the East Coast in about ten (unless you count Florida about five or six years ago … is that technically East Coast?!). It was incredible to soak up the culture, speak a little Spanish and take in beautiful  surroundings. I learned new words to communicate with my newfound friends , I learned to slooooow down and breathe a little more, and I learned that I can truly trust myself … my decision making … my gut instincts.

Everything in my brain was telling me not to take the time away (to not take the risk), but everything in my heart (along with many outward signs) pointed me in the direction of going. Even my boyfriend didn’t want to come at first, but as soon as we got settled into island-life, he thanked me for pushing the idea of us getting away.

#3. I have a renewed appreciation for life. “Just a bit of a break from the norm … just a little somethin’ to break the monotony …” (name that tune!) and I’m seeing things so much more clearly now. Things that have been holding me down and holding me back for years just don’t matter anymore.

My mind is clear. My heart is open. And my joy (and Joy) is overflowing! Sometimes all it takes is a little downtime to get your mind, body, and spirit back on track.

#4. It doesn’t matter if two people can barely speak each other’s language … they can still communicate and create a friendship. Laughing, playing, hand signals and just a little Spanglish was all it took to make tons of new friends.  My circle continues to grow and expand around the globe!

#5. There’s no place like home. I love my home. I love the familiarity and the comfort that comes with it. I love being settled (i.e., not living out of a suitcase, because I rarely unpack when away) and not worrying about finding clean water to drink or healthy food to eat. And I love Starbucks. There. I said it.

*BONUS* #6. I create my own opportunities. If it’s important enough to you, you can make anything happen. First of all, let’s get something clear here (and let’s just get a little airy-fairy, woo-woo while we’re at it) … THOUGHTS. BECOME. THINGS.  Period. You can opt to believe it, or opt not to, but either way, Universal Laws are in effect in your life as much as the Law of Gravity is.

Get your head out of your ass, buck up, and think positive. Seriously, what have you got to lose? It can’t hurt a thing to believe that good things can come to you (you deserve them, after all!) and it sure beats feeling negative and bitchy all day, day in and day out … right?!

Long story short, I thought positively about my trip. I told myself, and affirmed aloud daily, that I had the money to go and that everything would run smoothly in my absence. And I shit you not, that money appeared on cue out of thin air (no, seriously!), and obvi my businesses are still standing ;)

Moral of the story? Just do it. Do the thing that you KNOW in your heart you must do to make you a better and more complete you.

Whatever it may be. It will be okay.

YOU will be okay! Aren’t we ALWAYS okay in the end?!

Follow your instincts … and for God’s sake, TRUST IN YOURSELF! If it feels right to you, it is right. Period. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You got this!

Want my help getting your head outta your ass and back in the game? Click here to join in on my newest LIVE 6-week intensive beginning soon! We’ll be tackling all of the things that have stood in the way of achieving your ultimate life.

Your dream bod? I’m on it.

Your dream life? Get ready to rock it!

And yes … it works … time and time again, it really works.

Jan 08

Lovers Gonna Love

By Joy Perugini | Self-Care

sunset in heart handsYes, yes … “haters gonna hate” … but you know what? As much as those haters hate, those lovers gonna love! Can I tell you the biggest secret weapon I’ve got in my arsenal? The one that makes people refer to me over and over again as a “superwoman”? The one responsible for the overabundance of energy that I exude on a daily basis that has been described as palpable? The one that keeps me going (and smiling) through 12-16 hour days 6 days per week owning and operating two businesses? The one that makes me spread light and happiness just about everywhere I go, literally living up to the name given to me at birth? Yup, it’s love. Love of myself, love of others, and love and appreciation for life. It’s now, you know… life … it’s happening right now. Are you living it? Are you loving it?

Brace yourself, cuz I’m about to get up in your face … I’m about to call you out … so if you can’t stand the heat, get out of my kitchen and off of this blog. If you are not loving life at the moment, it’s because you are choosing to not love it. YOU are the only one standing in your way, so stop blaming everything and everyone else around you. YOUR choices have brought you to where you are. It’s not your parents fault, or your sister’s fault, or that you have a shitty job or boss, or that your partner forgot your anniversary, or that you’re broke, or out of shape. You have chosen these things and you continue to choose to react to them. You have made choices, thought thoughts, and taken the actions that have painted your life the way it currently is. Now, the good news … once you take ownership of this, things will literally begin to transform before your eyes. I promise. Life will love you back in more ways than you could ever imagine if you will only nurture it with your love first.

How can I be so sure of this? How can I PROMISE you that if you begin to show more love and appreciation for even the job (or body, financial state, or whatever ) you have, but may loathe right now, you will become a happier and more fulfilled person? Because I’ve been there. Because I pretty much hated everything about my life (and it wasn’t all that long ago) and I turned it all around.

I’ve owned a boutique fitness studio for almost nine years, and as recently as just four years ago, I almost closed it. I hated it. I hated the hours it took, I hated feeling alone and unsupported, and I hated that I had invested so much time and money into it and that it still wasn’t paying me a paycheck. I was told that because my business wasn’t making money, it was worthless. I was told that because I wasn’t making money, I was worthless. And even though I knew in my heart of hearts that I had helped so many people throughout the years live longer, healthier, better quality lives, I still let those horrible words sink in. And they stuck. For a very long time.

You would think that with all of the hours I was working (and working out), I would have been in great shape, but the truth is, at that point in time I was at the heaviest I had ever been. A solid 30 pounds over my norm. Now that might not sound like much, but I only stand 5’4” tall, so it was a good amount of weight on a small frame (especially considering that I literally workout for a living and have been an athlete my entire life). Long story short, I was miserable. I was pissy. And I was a beast to be around. I was in a dark, dark place, and then it got worse. I experienced a very big, very unfortunate life event that knocked me off my feet and into my bed hiding under the covers for two straight weeks. And when I came out from my cocoon, what I saw astounded me. My business was still standing and fully operational. My instructors and trainers stepped up to cover the 20+ classes I taught per week (all while refusing payment, mind you). The office staff handled the numerous tasks that I only do myself and didn’t think they would even know how to handle, and warm, fuzzy energy flowed from my clients in the form of kind words, gifts, and actions. And there it was. Love. The love that had eluded me for a while, but the love that as sure as the sun will rise, returned to me tenfold. I poured my love (along with a good amount of blood, sweat, and tears) into that business for five years before I started to turn on it, and that love had finally come home to roost. Sometimes it takes a while, so don’t let it discourage you. It can take some time to “undo” established thought patterns, especially those based in fear. But rest assured, they will be undone.

Today, I come to you from a place of love. I love myself more than anyone else in the world. I have to … who could ever love me better than me? And no, that doesn’t make me egotistical. It’s time for you to love yourself too. To love every piece of “you” unconditionally … the good, the bad, and the ugly.  Every curve, every inch, every perceived imperfection (perceived, because I assure you, you are perfectly you)! No one can be a better “you” than you … YOU have a life to rock … now get out of your own way and ROCK IT!

Not sure how to start loving you? I always like starting from the inside out. Click here to see what I mean.

Jan 03

Make. Me. STOP!

By Joy Perugini | Self-Care

Red traffic lightSlooow down. The message keeps hitting me in the head like a stone thrown by a bratty six year old on the playground. I rush around, running like a chicken with its head cutoff, trying to be everything to everyone, and then it happens. The “powers that be” (i.e., God, Buddha, Allah, The Universe … whatever term floats your boat) throw me a curve ball and MAKE. ME. STOP! Be it a bodily injury, common cold, or just an achy head or back, The Universe (the term I favor) sweeps the rug right out from under me and I screech to a halt.

It forces me to stop rushing, stop obsessing, stop trying so hard, and just be! Be present, be happy, be me. Every day, all day. Just be ME. Because, dammit, I am enough. In fact, I am more than enough.

Imperfections and all, I am exactly where I am meant to be in my life right now … and so are you. And it’s about time we honor that in ourselves. Show ourselves all of the love and appreciation we deserve. Make peace with where we are right now. Not where we were yesterday, or where we will be tomorrow, but where we are at present.

So I challenge you with this: give to yourself first. Yes, you heard me right. Stop giving OF yourself for just a few moments each day, and give TO yourself. Practicing self-care is one of the most important things we can do for our own well-being, if not THE most important thing. It can be as simple as eating clean and training mean (or maybe training “not so mean”), or going a step further and investing in a massage, facial or some other therapeutic treatment. And don’t even start with the excuses that you don’t have enough time … we’ve all got the same amount of hours in a day, sweetheart. You can’t tell me that out of the one-hundred and sixty-eight hours you have in a week, you don’t have time to take one measly hour out for yourself. Trust me, I KNOW busy and I KNOW excuses (I’m well versed in both) and neither will get you anywhere you want to be.

Taking time out to care for yourself will make you a better “you” to everyone else in your life. You’ll be a better friend, co-worker, son, daughter, sister, brother, mother, father, husband, wife (you get the gist). It’s something I preach to my clients on a regular basis, but truth be known, it’s not something I easily do for myself. To practice what I preach, and truly slow myself down, is something I struggle with daily. But I do it. Why? Because if I don’t The Universe will make me. And if you ignore those “powers that be” for too long, they will slow you down in a way that you may not quickly, nor easily recover from. And quite honestly, that scares the crap out of me. I know that I don’t do it enough (I’m a work in progress), but when I start to feel even the least bit rundown, or even the hint of a cold coming on, I slam on the breaks and immediately do something for myself, even if it’s as simple as going to bed early or taking a bath. And you can do it too. No excuses. No “maybe later” bullshit. Just be kind to “you” for a few minutes. Maybe it means taking a moment in the day to sit quietly and take a few slow, mindful breaths. We all have time for that. It doesn’t have to be a project. In fact, eventually it’s sure to become quite natural … something we’ll begin to crave and do on auto-pilot (I’ll let you know when I get there). In the meantime, it may take a little effort (maybe some self-coercing), but I have faith … we got this!

Need a little help slowing down? Click here to take a short relaxation break … I promise it will be worth your time, and did I mention it’s free???